Symptoms this week:
- Breast tenderness (OMG! OW! Please hug me GENTLY)
- Frequent urination – I did NOT expect this so early in pregnancy. I thought that came later when there was a full grown baby sitting on your bladder, but no. I am in the bathroom every 20 minutes, I swear.
- FATIGUE – good LORD I did not know it was possible to be this tired. Just four weeks? Are you sure? 😉
The day I found out I was pregnant, I wanted to SHOUT IT FROM THE ROOF TOPS! I wanted to post our cute little pregnancy announcement on Facebook, I wanted to tell anyone who would listen… I did tell a handful of people, including my parents, my sister and my closest friends (which, if you know me, is not a small number of people). I am a share-er by nature (major extrovert, here) and so, keeping this to myself was IMMENSELY difficult. I knew there were reasons to wait, however, and my ever pragmatic husband encouraged me (in the most loving way possible) that I should wait until after our first ultra sound to post our adorable FB announcement. Since it was, after all, his decision as well, I graciously acquiesced to his request and did NOT post my announcement when I was just four weeks and one day pregnant.
Week four went by in kind of a haze of euphoria and terror – in between the times that I straight up FORGOT that I was pregnant. There was really just one symptom that I was having consistently and it didn’t really effect anything while I was sitting at my desk for long stretches, so there were times I didn’t feel, nor remember that I was pregnant. I was also still not convinced that it was 100% real – I was still waiting for my period to show up, albeit pretty late, and every time I went to the bathroom I sent up a silent little prayer in hopes that I was still pregnant.
This back and forth and EXTREME range of emotions was NOT good for me, nor the human life that I was housing in my womb. I tried many relaxation techniques from deep breathing, to thankfulness, to tapping. Nothing really seemed to work – it would work in the moment, and I would feel some relief, but the terror that I felt at even the possibility of losing this precious miracle was… almost paralyzing. It was hard to move through it to the joy that I knew was behind it.
Aside from these emotions, week four came with assessing my diet – specifically my liquid intake. I am a HUGE fan of caffeine (shocking, I know) and many of the drinks I would consume during the day had caffeine in them. Not just my daily cup of coffee (which I did not, have not and WILL not cut from my diet) I would usually drink Arnold Palmer’s throughout my days. Since that drink contains iced tea, and has caffeine, and I knew I wasn’t cutting out my morning caffeine, I knew I had to come up with something else. Here’s the thing: almost EVERY drink you can buy in a grocery store is PACKED with sugar. If not sugar (diet, or “healthy” or whatever they label it) it would have some sort of artificial sweetener that I couldn’t have, or inSANE chemicals that I didn’t want to feed to my very fragile embryo. So I was left with… water. I. Hate. Water.
The Problem With Water:
Water is gross. “But water doesn’t taste like anything.” Yes. Yes it does. I can’t tell you what it tastes LIKE, but it has it’s own distinct flavor, and I don’t LIKE IT! I never have – this is not a weird pregnancy quirk. My mom had the HARDEST time getting me to drink water when I was a kid, because I didn’t like how it tasted. This has not changed much in my adult life. I drink water (sometimes) because I HAVE to. Because it’s GOOD for you. Because without it, you shrivel up and die – well OK, not really – but still! God I hate water. The idea of the next NINE months with only water as a beverage choice… It made me gag and shudder. I declared this dilemma to my loving husband, who dutifully looked at juices nutrition labels for the next week and a half or so. In the mean time – I was stuck with – that’s right… water. Ugh.